In the 80s and 90s, if you were a mom whose culinary creations were usually out of a can or in partnership with Chef Microwave, but actually wanted to cook something “from scratch”, or if you were a school lunch lady and had to feed hundreds of kids on a minuscule public budget, you turned to the ever convenient and versatile ground beef. I grew up with ground beef recipes and still make them today. However, my son and his friends often describe my cooking as “retro”. I’m not sure when it happened, but it seems many ground beef dishes have become nostalgic and somewhat frumpish. Oh well. Here are five of those musty ground beef dishes I remember from the 80s and 90s that I still love today.

Sloppy Joes

The origin of the Sloppy Joe depends on what part of America you are from. For Southerners, the story goes that a Cuban bar owner named José García created a handy version of a dish called ropa vieja that he could serve patrons. José’s bar was so grimy that everyone called him “Sloppy Joe”. Later, Ernest Hemingway brought the sandwich back to his favorite bar in Key West. That bar’s name was changed to Sloppy Joe’s, where these days, they serve Sloppy Joe sandwiched to Hemingway lookalikes.

Midwesterners have a different version. “Loose meat” sandwiches were an already popular staple in that part of America. The story goes that a cook at the Ye Olde Tavern Inn in Sioux City, Iowa named Joe added tomato sauce to the ground beef or loose meat. This is why they are referred to as “tavern sandwiches” in Iowa to this day. The Ye Olde Tavern Inn closed in 1974, but bars and taverns throughout Iowa and the Midwest still serve these delicious sandwiches.

Even though these origin stories are often in competition, I think it’s possible that both are true. Regardless, the Sloppy Joe took off during the Great Depression. A half-century later, single mothers and lunch ladies of the 1980s would relish Sloppy Joes for the same reasons economically depressed people of the 1930s would like them: They were cheap, versatile, easily customizable, and could be made wholesale in large quantities. While Manwich was a popular canned sauce in the 80s and 90s, my mom used McCormick mix for a more “I cooked this from scratch” feel. She also added green bell peppers for some crunch and brown sugar for extra sweetness. Mom had the lunch lady beat in the Sloppy Joe department.

Goulash

Okay Hungarians and other Central European friends, let’s get this out of the way first: I understand that what I’m going to talk about isn’t “real” goulash. Our pizza isn’t real Italian pizza. Our Chinese food isn’t real Chinese food. We get it. This is why we even put American in front of it. Its American goulash.

Traditional goulash can be traced back all the way to 9th century Hungary. Shepards would make a meat stew that they could carry with them as they worked their flocks. Today’s modern goulash has one defining characteristic, and that is the use of paprika as a spice, which started showing up in the 1700s. There are many variations of goulash, but meat and paprika seem to be the core of what makes a stew a “goulash”.

With so many variants of goulash even in its region of origin, surely there must be room for the American variety! American goulash first manifested in cookbooks in 1914. In this humble writer’s opinion (aka, fact), there are four essential components of an American goulash:

1. Ground beef, not beef cubes or other kinds of meat.

2. Whole, diced, or crushed tomatoes. No tomato sauce. This isn’t a Sloppy Joe.

3. Elbow macaroni. Some recipes say it’s okay to use other pasta types such as egg noodles. It’s not. This isn’t stroganoff, it’s goulash. Elbows only.

4. There must be paprika. You can have other spices too, but paprika is what makes the dish goulash and not something else.

Again, like most ground beef dishes, American goulash was cheap, versatile and not hard to make a lot of. My mother would cook this when she wanted to one up that little Hamburger Helper glove guy. She also included green bell peppers, because she really liked to include those, a lot of garlic, onions and sometimes mushrooms if she felt like splurging a bit. I put a few shakes of Worcestershire sauce and a dab of cayenne in my version today, along with parsley garnish. Any American goulash is great topped with grated cheddar.

Chef’s secret: if you replace paprika with chili powder and cumin, you instantly have a completely different dish called “chili mac”. Make both in one batch! The kids will never know.

Meatloaf

Ah, meatloaf. Such a classic comfort food. It’s so good, in fact, a rock singer named himself after the delectable dish. Variations of meatloaf can be traced back to ancient times, but the modern version was first recorded in New England back in the 1870s. Like pretty much all of the dishes on this list, meatloaf became especially popular in the… you guessed it… the 1930s during the Great Depression. You also probably guessed that meatloaf was cheap and easy to produce in bulk, and you would be right. If one makes a meatloaf correctly, even the cheapest ground meat can be made to be scrumptious. Meatloaf garnered even more popularity in the 50s and, as far as I know, remained a comfort food staple for the rest of the millennium, only becoming “retro” in some ethereal timeframe subsequent to my youth.

Meatloaf was my grandmother’s specialty. I remember two things in particular about her meatloaf: She used oatmeal in the meat mix extender, and the ketsupy loaf topping sauce was directly from heaven. Grandma was proud that she made her meatloaf from scratch. Again, she wanted to show that Hamburger Helper glove guy who was boss. Because meatloaf could be made in larger quantities, we often had leftovers that could become meatloaf sandwiches. Leftover meatloaf sandwiches are among the most beautiful things on the planet.

Salisbury Steak

Salisbury steak is a sort of juicy meatloaf, typically shaped in an oval patty, and served with a brown gravy. I love onions and mushrooms with the sauce. “Salisbury steak” sounds cool when you’re economically challenged but still want to be fancy and eat a “steak” named after a man.

The man the dish is named for is James H. Salisbury, an American doctor who advocated for a meat-rich diet. Think of Dr. Salisbury as the 19th Century Atkins. Salisbury believed that his Hamburg steak recipe could treat digestive issues. Well, at least his patience had regular bowl movements when their hearts failed.

Frozen Salisbury steak dinners were produced by many brands and a common sight in the frozen aisle at the local grocery store (maybe it still is). In fact, the USDA has very specific standards for what manufacturers can call Salisbury steak, which include a minimum of 65% meat, of which no more than 25% is pork. There is a limit of 30% fat and 12% extender product. There are further criteria as well.

I’m not sure if my mother knew about these percentages. She just did her thing, but her Salisbury steak was delicious, and she was proud to stick it to the frozen dinner manufactures and Chef Microwave every now and then with her homemade Salisbury steak.

Meatballs

While most cultures of the world have some version of meatballs, I’m talking about Italian American meatballs. Yeah, the giant ones on top of spaghetti, smothered in marinara sauce. The meatballs that we make children’s songs about.

The origin of this meatball can be traced back to an Italian dish called polpettes. These were little meatballs, about the size of marbles, using less-desirable meat cuts. They were either served as is or in a simple broth.

When Italians immigrated to the United States in the 19th and early 20th centuries, they brought the dish with them. However, in traditional American fashion, they started making the meatballs bigger and bolder, adding marinara sauce, spaghetti, and cheese. Today, spaghetti and meatballs are a staple dish in any Italian restaurant in America, although you’d be hard-pressed to find it in Italy.

Chef’s secret: Save yourself a trip to Ikea. If you have leftovers, replace the marinara with a cream sauce seasoned with nutmeg, allspice and parsley. Replace the spaghetti with egg noodles. Voilà! You now have Swedish meatballs! The kids will never know!

Even though my mother had an affinity for prepackaged frozen and canned foods, she never went for the premade meatball. She was convinced that her homemade meatballs were easy to make and much tastier. She was right.

Make your own meatballs people. That’s what separates you from an amorphous blob of indolence.

Do you remember eating these ground beef dishes? Do you eat them today? Are they even considered retro? Contact me and let me know or get with me on Twitter. With that, I leave you with this quote: